I look at her, "We can take it slow? Nothing has to really change, my only rule...and I know it's not realistic or doesn't make sense. I don't want to see any magic. I know you used it on me to calm me....and I understand, it was nice of you but, look, being in the human world with Cora and we couldn't use our abilities...it's the happiest I have ever been in my life and I am just not open to it, anymore."
"It's stupid, I shouldn't care..or tell you what to do."I say, trying to downplay my feelings about it.
Davina understood. He’d lost his wife largely due to magic. He wanted to raise his kids with normalcy. Perhaps she didn’t quite agree with the idea of raising gods amongst humans, but she respected him and his reasoning behind it. She nodded.
“No magic. I can do that.”
And because it was finally happening, she smiled. He liked her. He wanted her. “I didn’t say anything last night because we’d both been drinking and I didn’t want to feel like I was taking advantage, but I’ve liked you for a long time. Longer than I should have, honestly. I’d been trying to set it aside and be respectful, but...”
Word vomit. If she kept going, she was going to put her foot in her mouth. She shook her head. “I’m sorry. I get so nervous around you sometimes. What I want to say is that I’m okay as long as you’re comfortable. If it gets to be too much, tell me, because I don’t want to mess this up. I like being here, and I adore your kids.”
I look at her, "Well, you're talking about me being a relationship with you, I am not jumping to my death. It's quite the opposite, I need...well, you. I am going to go crazy. I am also not usually this corny..." She leans in and kisses me again, I kiss her back and we just make out a little bit. I break off, knowing she will want to wait being a virgin.
"We can tell the children in awhile, first...I want to take you out on a date, yes an actual date. Dinner and I am not telling you the rest of it." I tell her and she smiles.
We planned a date for the Thursday, I had the night off work. I had sent flowers the night after we confessed our affection for each other. She called to say thank you and how beautiful they are.
Before the date, I go to visit Caius. I found out from Davina awhile ago, that he is staying at a nearby hotel. Niamh's birthday wasn't too long ago and I am sure he's staying thanks to his daughters interest in me. I am invited up to his suite and I walk in, we greet each other. He has me sit across from him, I look at him and before I do sit down, "I am sure you know why I am here..you can read my mind right now."
"I am trying to give you respect and block it, I know you are here to tell me something. Please sit, my lie---" he stops himself, I gave a pretty severe look. I sit down and I am asked if I would like a drink, I say just a coffee and Caius is surprised but that is presented. "I try to limit my drinking, I was getting a little out of hand with it, Davina, really..is the reason I cut back."
He looks at me, I look at him, "I did not intend to fall for your daughter but I have, it's very new..she is much different than Cora. She wants romance and flowers, which I want to do because she's amazing but I want you to know my intentions are good. You know, I would be putting this much effort if I wasn't serious about her."
Caius drinks his whiskey, "I do, I respect you coming to telling me. I think ,you need to do what makes you happy and you also make her very happy."
Caius tells me about Davina's mother, how she died when Davina was young.
I sit in silence, listening. Caius looks at me, "You are nervous, I have never seen you nervous before." He says to me, I look at him, "I am also not one for sharing..."
Caius smiles at that,"You are a good man Lochlan, I give you my blessing."
I look at him, impressed and he called me by my name. Not my liege.
Luke's wife comes over watch the children and I am still getting ready, I planned on dinner at a nice place and got tickets to soe art gallery. I was told she loves art and all things beautiful. I come out finally, Luke's wife comes over and nods,"Oh yeah...you're.." i stop her, "Keep it PG..." she smiles,"I wish I wasn't married...."
"I don't know whether to be flattered or laugh awkwardly.." I say, we both laugh at that. Niamh comes over and hugs me. She looks up at me, I bend down to her level and she says, "I am proud of you dad, Davina...is special."
"I don't want you telling Cillian or Liam yet, okay?" I tell her and she nods, "They mostly know..." I look at her annoyed, "Is it that obvious I like her?"
Niamh nods, I stand up "Well, I'll shut up then...okay, have a good night and thanks." to Luke's wife, I head out.
I pull up to Davina's place, it's an apartment building. She lives pretty modestly, something I like a lot. I buzz myself up as I have a present with me, I go upstairs and she invites me in. I see what she's in, she's beautiful but not enough. I hand her a box, it's designer. She looks at me and takes it,opens it up and it's a beautiful dress inside.
"It's not a ball gown and don't ask how I could afford it, maybe I broke my rule...a little bit." I say, I do have a savings account with a lot of money, just in case. I'm not an idiot, before I left my dimension. The house was paid in full, I also made a deal with Oscar and took a nest egg of money with me, as you never know, it was a lot of money.
Last edited by Canadianmummy on Mon Apr 16, 2018 4:23 am; edited 1 time in total
Davina gaped at the designer dress in her hands, then stared back up at Lochlan in awe. It was exactly the type of dress she would wear if she'd ever decided to splurge on one, but she'd never owned one with a price tag that surpassed fifty dollars. This was worth much, much more.
"Oh, Lochlan, it's beautiful," she whispered, and the butterflies were back in full force. "This had to be expensive. I can't accept this."
He stopped to tell her not to worry, and to simply put it on. She could only resist for so long before her love for all things fashionable and fancy took over. She smiled down at the dress again and ran her fingers gently over the fabric. When she met his gaze again, her eyes were full of gratitude. "Thank you."
She rose to the tips of her toes to give him a kiss. And then another. Finally, she turned her back to him and moved her hair aside. "Can you unzip me?"
He did so, working the zipper down gently, and then she turned back to give him another kiss. She was so taken aback by the grand gesture, by how sudden all of this was, by the simple fact that this man was so set in his life of normalcy, yet didn't think twice about the dress.
If he didn't stop, she wasn't sure how long she could hold out. She could already barely stand to look at him and not glue her lips to his. Her first time was something she'd always taken very seriously; it was a gift she would give to the man with whom she'd share her eternity, and though it was soon, she could easily imagine it being the man who stood before her, in her small but orderly apartment. She was getting ahead of herself.
She excused herself to go change, marveled at herself in the mirror for far longer than necessary, and then returned to him wearing the dress he'd bought. It hugged her curves and was modest enough for her liking, but the barest hint of cleavage and the slit down the side were just daring enough to make the look work.
She curtsied for him, then giggled. "I feel like I should be walking the red carpet or something."
I push aside her worries, I bring her to the finest restaurant in New York, she looks at me to explain, "I was the General, do you think I really left all the money? I said magic was my problem, not the money part of it."
I pour her more wine, she laughs. She tells me how she's been writing a story, I tell her to persue it, let me read your stuff some time. We share hopes and dreams, more about our families. I don't say much about my own parents, I just look at her and tell her to keep talking.
We go to the art gallery, her favourite artist and she is amazed I knew this.
I finally drive her home, walk her to her door and look at her, "I have to say as a joke, shall we procceed?"
Davina lost herself to her laughter for a short moment. She wanted to proceed. He had no idea how badly she wanted to proceed. She had convictions, but she was still only a person.
Knowing he'd merely been joking, she stepped forward and lifted her hand to his face. "I had an incredible night, Lochlan. Thank you."
When he leaned forward, she rose to press her lips to his. The kiss deepened and grew more heated, but as always, they pulled away. She leaned against her door and laughed nervously. She would be a puddle on the concrete if she didn't hurry inside.
"You make it hard to not proceed," she blurted out, because clearly she hadn't said enough. Why the hell did she say that? "I mean, let's do this again. Another date. If you want that."
I look at her, "I do..." she kisses me again and then finally goes into her apartment. I stand their for a second, I get home and go grab some water from the fridge. Sophia asks how it was and I tell her good, she gives me a hug and leaves to go home.
I stand in my kitchen alone, drinking my water and I lean against some cabinets. I miss Cora so much, the thought of her is even stronger now that I am developing feelings for someone else. Her anniversary of her death is soon, very soon. Has it been long enough, is their a rule? I want to be happy, Davina makes me happy and yeah I really want to see her naked.
Davina will wake up again with flowers delivered, with tickets to a hockey game Saturday night. I wasn't sure if she was big on sports but Ryan had some extra pairs and it would be a double date with him and Sophia.
We do go, dinner before and we cheer on the New York Rangers. Finally, we get back to my place as I am working early in the morning and Davina is coming to watch the children. Davina and I get heated on the couch, I am on top of her and pull away, "We can just sleep, nothing has to happen..." she returns my suggestion with another kiss.
We get into bed and make out again, I do move my hand up her shirt and feel her breasts. She moans and I move more over her and I lift off my shirt. I then hear Dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I break off, get my shirt back on and go to Liam's room, I go in and poor little guy has been sick. Davina comes in and she takes him to get cleaned up, I do the blankets and stuff.
The next morning, I wake up and Liam was fine after he threw up, very strange and he slept in his own bed. I look to see Davina is waking up as well, I smirk and kiss her. She kisses me back, I say where were we? I brush my hand along the thighs of her pajama pants and I can hear her breath quicken, I am going to fast I tell myself.
I break off and look at her, then I look next to her bedside table. A picture of Cora, I forgot it was there. I have pictures of her of course, all over the place. I pull away completely and sit up. Davina I can feel sit up behind me, her hand caressing my arm to my shoulder. She holds me, I don't know what to say.
"I don't know if I am ever going to be okay with this...,fuck, I am wasting your time. I have to get ready for work." I get up and go into the washroom, slamming the door. I look in the mirror, this is pathetic. I want to have sex, is that all I want? That I can take but this, is it love? I lean against the wall and slide to the floor, I bury my head in my hands.
I don't want this to be my life, I hear her come in and I try to stand up and shake it off. She has seen me like this far too many times, but she gets down to my level and hugs me. Her arms around me and I let her, "You are right for us to wait, I don't even think I want to...not yet."
Davina simply held him, her heart in pieces to see him so broken down. She wasn't sure how to wade through the thickness of his grief, but she could be there. She could care for him and see him through it.
"I'm not going anywhere," she said softly, and with the barest touch of her lips to his forehead, she settled down beside him to keep him company. As long as she was there, he would never have to do this alone.
Davina had dinner ready the next night, a fragrant Cajun pasta loaded with bell peppers and grilled chicken hot and fresh on the stove, a basket of warm bread on the table. She'd picked up the kids from school, played with Liam and assisted the rest with their homework, and cleaned the house twice over. She couldn't seem to sit still. She wanted to make things nice for Lochlan, anything to make it easier, but she didn't know where to begin when it came to a man mourning his wife. She could only be patient and support him, yet nothing seemed like quite enough.
She greeted him with a quiet kiss when he returned from work, and because it had been another late night, the kids were in bed. She'd taken advantage of the alone time and showered, then thrown on one of her prettiest dresses, decided it was too much, and changed into something else instead. On her end of the table sat a wine glass, and on his end, his favorite beer. It wasn't as if she was trying to seduce him, but she wanted him to have a pleasant evening. Something he didn't have to overthink.
While they ate, she filled him in on the kids' days as usual. "I left Niamh's permission slip in your bedroom for the field trip. Liam's feeling much better today, so it must've been a bug. Oh, and Cillian got an A on his essay. I read it; it was brilliant."
She paused and gave him a smile, her wine glass raised to her lips. "How was work?"
I came home and was surprised by everything Davina had done. I listen to all she has said, I responded by leaving the table. I go and start taking photos down of Cora. I put them in a keepsake box, Davina has been following me around and watching, I go up to her and kiss her, "I need to move on, her staring at me....is not helping when I have a beautiful woman next to me, especially in bed with me. This way, the kids can pull this out and look but I have too."
Davina tells me to check the permission slip, I do so and see a video game. I do enjoy those. I pull her close and kiss her, I move her to the wall. We just kiss, I want to move my hands all over her but instead, I enjoy the fact that she is wearing a dress because I kiss her neck and move my hand up her thigh, I play with her pussy outside of her panties and I stroke it, moving my finger in circles and finally I move the material aside and I hold her against the wall as I finger fuck her into oblivion as far as I am concerned. When she finishes, I have her holding on to me and I kiss her head and she stands up straighter.
"What's for dessert...?" I say as if nothing else happened, I smirk and walk off.
It had been just short of two months, and only a couple days before the anniversary of Cora's passing. The weeks prior had been a dream with Lochlan; they'd yet to reach that next level, but he was adept at giving pleasure, never once expecting it in return. His hands were magic, and because the slightest touch was enough to drive her wild, it didn't take long to get her there. She could only imagine what the real thing would be like. Explosive, most likely.
As the day approached, Davina was on edge again, trying to make the days go smoothly, trying to keep the air light and stress-free. She cleaned the house, she polished Lochlan's work shoes, she made dinner, and only stopped to rest once she'd showered. When she emerged, she passed by Niamh's bedroom and heard whispering. Because the door was ajar, she lightly tapped on the frame and peered inside. "May I come in?"
Niamh sniffled. "Yeah. Hey, Davina."
When she stepped inside, Cillian and Niamh sat on her bed, their eyes red and their cheeks wet. In their hands they held photographs of their mother. The sadness hit her like a ton of bricks.
Cillian cleared his throat and wiped at his eyes with his fists. "Sorry. It's coming up on the day."
Davina nodded. "I know, sweetheart. I'm so sorry."
Niamh shrugged. "It's not your fault or anything. We've just been feeling kinda sucky lately."
Davina closed the door behind her and strode into the room. She pulled out an empty chair from Niamh's vanity and seated herself in front of them. "There's nothing wrong with that. You love your mother very deeply. It took a long time to get over my own."
That surprised them. Cillian looked up. "Your mom died, too?"
She nodded. "She did. I was about your age. And it isn't easy, of course, but what you must know is that it isn't about getting over it. It's about getting through it. You have to let yourself feel what you feel." She smiled at them sadly. "If you'd rather be alone for this, I'll excuse myself."
Niamh shook her head. "It's not just that, Davina. We miss our dimension. We miss being gods. I know Dad's trying his best, but what are we supposed to do? Make friends with humans and then watch them die while we stay the same? We can't even use our powers, and honestly, sometimes it would be really helpful if we could."
Cillian nodded beside her. Davina sighed. "I understand that. I do. But please try to give your father some time. None of this is easy. He wants the best for you."
"I know that," Niamh said, and Davina's heart broke again when the crying commenced. "I just miss my friends. I never got to use my magic. And I can't make friends without lying to them about literally everything. Why does my dad look so young when my uncles are getting gray hair? Where are we from? What happened to Mom?"
"Yeah, at least if we could use our magic, we could make them stop with the questions," Cillian added. "Our dimension was awesome. We don't belong with the humans. We're gods. We need magic."
Davina hated to see the children so frustrated, but she sympathized completely. It had to be suffocating to deny what you were. To keep up a charade for the sake of humans who, in the grand scheme of things, wouldn't be around long enough to matter. How would they find love with a mere mortal? How could they watch their spouses grow old and die, grieve the loss, and then repeat the process all over again? Normalcy was a nice thought, but it was impossible, considering the circumstances.
She sighed. "Your father is going to be so mad at me," she murmured, but then she stood and shook her shoulders. "But we do need a little magic sometimes."
She simply wanted them to smile. Just a little laughter, and she would stop. She was breaking her promise to Lochlan, the one rule he'd given her, but it was harmless. She just needed to cheer them up, and then she'd never have to break his rule again.
In the next second, she was no longer herself. Before them stood Marilyn Monroe in her infamous white dress. In her hand she held a microphone. She began to croon 'Happy Birthday, Mr. President', and much to her surprise, it worked. Cillian howled with laughter, as did his sister. They'd had no idea she had the ability. They clapped, joy on their faces, and yelled for her to do more.
She obliged them. In the next instant, she was Matthew McConaughey. She drawled his infamous lines from Dazed and Confused. They laughed again and suggested more celebrities, cackling a little harder each time. At last, she was Oprah, swinging her arms about the room in the most extravagant way, her eyes wide. "You get a car! And you get a car! Everybody here gets a car!"
That time, she bowed over in laughter herself, but then she tensed when she heard the door swing open behind her. She turned to find Lochlan in the doorway, sheer anger in his eyes. She was pretty sure all the color had drained from her face.
"Lochlan," she gasped, morphing back into herself in an instant as the guilt filled her. "Lochlan, I'm sorry."
Two months into a life with Davina, it was good. I adored the girl, I liked having to put my attention to something else than misery. I laughed more, I enjoyed my children more. I just enjoyed life again more. Cora, she brought me to life, before her it was a life of countless women and killing, I didn't know anything else. Not even love from my own parents.
Davina, she brings that out of me as well. We are still going slow, more her decision than mine. I am more than ready to be inside of her but I wait.
I came across most of it, I stood next to the wall, away from view. I heard their conversation, I heard how they wanted to go back. I was being selfish clearly, I want them to have a normal life. I then stood next to the door way, I don't know why I am so mad but I am. I look at her and walk off to my bedroom to take off my uniform.
She comes into the bedroom after me, I undo my belt and say nothing yet. "I know it's crazy and I know my kids hate it here but what really am I supposed to do? Go back to my dimension, bring you with me...you want to rule alongside me? You're a warlock, your kind automatically think they know better and have the answers to everything."
That stung. She froze where she stood. "I don't know the answers, Lochlan. I wish I did. But do I think they belong with the humans? I don't. They need to be with their own kind, even if it is safer on earth."
She felt like she'd only made things worse. She was coming across like the know-it-all he'd accused her of being. She tried again. "They don't blame you. They know you only want the best for them. And about the magic, I'm sorry. I broke the one rule you gave me, and I swear it won't happen again. They were upset and I just wanted them to smile."
He continued to undress in silence, his frustration palpable, and she took a deep breath. Whatever this was, she didn't like it. "Lochlan? Please."
I finish putting on a new shirt, look at her "It is not so much a rule, I wanted you to....respect how I feel about magic. I get it, I don't know what I am doing. Maybe this was selfish, for me to leave but what next? Another enemy comes and finds my daughter, kills her next? Do you have any idea how powerful she is? No, you have no idea."
I sit on the bed, frustrated. I look at her, "I don't know, you are not in any obligation to tell me what they need. If you want to voluntarily put them in danger, it's not going to happen and if that is going to be your influence, then you can leave." I stand up, pull my watch off.
Davina blanched. How had he jumped to such a harsh statement? How could he think that she would ever want his children in danger?
Before she knew it, her eyes were filling up with tears. She shook her head. "How can you say that? Lochlan, I've lived and breathed for your children for nearly a year now. It's not as if any of this has an easy solution!"
She looked back at the man who held her heart, who so easily crushed it with mere words, and wiped at her cheek in frustration. "I apologized. I'm sorry, okay? I respect how you feel, but how are those kids supposed to live with mortals? They'll never reach fulfillment; they'll always feel distanced from their true selves. Forgive me for trying to be frank, but if this is how you truly see me, perhaps you're right. I should leave."
I look at her, "I just told you the alternative with us going back? I don't know answers either but Niamh is always going to be in danger. At least here she's not, she can go to school and live a normal childhood, something I didn't get to do. My childhood was watching beheading tutorials and learning how to torture someone."
"The very second that Cora died, I did not want that life for them anymore. I don't want them to be around it. It's not better to be there, so if we disagree on this, we have no future." I look at her, and she says how to leave. "I want you to leave, yes."
The tears were falling harder now. She wanted to fight his decision or come to some sort of an agreement, but he was far too upset for that at the moment.
Perhaps later. Perhaps later, she hoped, he would allow her back into his home and they could work out what had gone wrong between them. She so desperately wanted the children in her life. This little family, along with its wacky extensions and lovable characters, meant the world to her. She'd fallen for them all, and she couldn't let go so easily.
If he denied her that, she didn't know what she would do. His family had given her a sense of purpose. Had brought her such unending happiness.
She wiped at her face again, her lower lip trembling, and nodded. He was the father; she was merely the help. She couldn't very well stomp her foot and demand to stay. "As you wish," she murmured, and then she was gone.
I go downstairs and start dinner, I see my children come down and they are getting their coats on. I go over and say dinner is almost ready, what are they doing?
"We are going to Uncle Ryan's for dinner." Niamh says, helping Liam with his jacket on. I look at them, "Let me guess, you obviously heard the fight I had with Davina..."
"You mean, the fight with you scolding her for making your children cheer up? We miss Mom too Dad!" Cillian says, "I know you do, I know you fucking do. I am here for you, to express your feelings and whatever it is you need. It doesn't need to be magic! I am not losing you as well, how hard is this to understand?"
They stay quiet, got them now. "No, go ahead, leave too. Go stay with them, they are humans though, not your own kind. Because Gods have really shown us nothing but warmth and affection, no instead that has been humans."
"Dad, we are still not human..." Niamh says, I look at her "I have nothing left to say, you can wait for them outside."
I open the door and they go outside, I slam the door shut. I want to drink myself stupid and I fight it.I don't drink anywhere near the amount I used too.
It was a miracle that Davina made it home, for she could barely see through her tears enough to drive. When she walked through the door, Caius awaited her.
He didn't judge her for her emotions. He stood with concern in his eyes, then crossed the distance between them to pull her into his arms.
She didn't need to say a thing, because Lochlan's words were playing on a loop through her mind. He saw it all. "He's so angry with me, Father," she said, and she couldn't seem to stop weeping. She'd only wanted to bring happiness to this family. She'd wanted to honor her father by helping the gods in mourning. By carrying out her duties, not by procreating but by helping to heal others, and yet she'd made a mess of things. She'd gotten attached and she'd fallen in love. What was she to do without the children?
Before this, she's been a college graduate, working on novels she hoped to one day publish. She'd met Niamh by chance when she'd gone to visit her father. She'd seen a young girl who was struggling to come to terms with her own magic, she'd met a group of marvelous humans who'd have given their lives to ensure her safety, and when Cora had passed, she'd only grown closer. She hadn't expected to feel for Lochlan. She'd expected to do her job.
What a lousy warlock she'd turned out to be. She didn't want to procreate, and she couldn't touch a project without watching it fall to pieces before her eyes.
Why, amongst the rest of her kind, was she the only one so broken?
Her father shook his head. "You are not broken, sweet girl. You fell for this family. Why do you think I've remained a facet in their lives? Dear, it is borne out of love. Not obligation."
She sniffled against his chest, relishing the comfort her father provided. "I wanted to help them. Instead, he hates me."
Caius chuckled. "Oh, my dear, it is quite the opposite. You two had a disagreement. Your beau will come around."
She stepped away at last, and her father handed her the handkerchief tucked away in his jacket pocket. She accepted it graciously and dabbed at her cheeks. "I didn't mean for this to happen, Father."
"Naturally, no, Davina," he said, brushing her apologies aside. "One never simply intends to fall in love."
She swallowed hard, then looked into his eyes in confusion. "I don't know. I don't know how I feel. He misses her so much, and I'm so selfish, all I can do is worry that he won't have enough room in his heart for me. Right now, he doesn't, and I don't know how to make him happy."
Caius held her closer. "You do, child. More than you know."
He pressed his lips to her forehead and pushed her hair back from her face. "Have a rest. I'll brew some tea."
She nodded and stepped away, but she wasn't sure how she was supposed to relax. Shame filled her. Perhaps she'd made a mistake in branching out on her own. She hadn't gone on all that many dates. She'd yet to finish a single novel she'd started. She didn't know which way was up or down anymore. "I'm sorry, Father. I must be the worst warlock to ever exist."
Caius smiled. "Perhaps it is the other way around, yes? You have your mother's heart. It will serve you well."
She watched as he poured water into the kettle and turned on the stove. For the first time in a while, she felt accepted for what she was. No talk of dates or carrying on the lineage. At the end of the day, he loved her and he would support her in whatever she chose. Before she started getting emotional, she made her way to the couch and let her eyes drift shut.
I was having a good night, no kids as I watched whatever I wanted on tv. I got up and put on that video game Davina got me, it was a favourite. I sit down to and about to press play when I hear the doorbell. I hang my head in defeat, I get up and open the door. I see Caius, "Really? She's a grown woman,if she wants to apologize or I don't know....ignore me, that is between her and I."
"I fully agree with you but it is your well-being I am here to see."He says to me, I look at him, "Caius, stop helping me...I am nothng but an asshole to you and your daughter, every chance I get. Why do you want to help me?"
"Cora would have wanted me too." He says, I slam the door in his face and go to the couch, to play my game. I hear his voice, "What if I told you, I have a way you can speak to her, to Cora."
I open the door, "What fucking shit are you talking about?"
"May I come in?" He says, I let him in. I look at him, what is he on about. "As a warlock, I have many abilities. Speaking to the dead, is one of them." He tells me.
I go up to him now, "Are you telling me, this whole time...you can talk to her?"
He nods,"I haven't. I haven't reached out to her. I can tell her soul is at peace and I know she visits, she watches you. I can sense her presence right now."
I look at him, I don't disagree with it. I mean, I am a God. I know you don't just die and that's it. It's a touchy subject.
"I didn't want to have you see her, Lochlan,I felt it would be too hard. To see her and then that is it. I am only doing it once...I am not whoppi goldberg."
He says this all to me, I stand staring at him. I almost don't know what to say, "Is this some kind of...trick, to get me to agree that my children should be back on my dimension?"
"I think, you are trying hard to move on. You need to say goodbye to her." He says, looking at me.
I look at him, I sit down. This is a lot to take in.
It took some consideration, but alas, Lochlan agreed. Caius knew that it was not a decision to make lightly, but of all the people in Cora's life, Lochlan remained the one person who needed her comfort most. He needed the okay to move on.
Caius sought out Cora's presence, and with a wave of his hand, he made her spirit appear solid though somewhat hazy before them. She stood wearing the blouse and skirt Lochlan himself had requested when he'd met her family for the first time. Her eyes were full of love and tranquility when she set them upon her husband.
She smiled, then grinned at Caius. "You narc. You had to tell the man I was creeping on him."
Caius chuckled. "You are very dearly missed, Cora."
She turned to Lochlan, then, and folded her arms across her chest. "And you. You marvelous fucking dumbass." His eyes widened, but hers were full of mirth. She was teasing as she always had. "It's good to see you, babe."
I want to roll my eyes, "What, are you here to lecture me or say you miss me and be all cute about it? I do like your choice of attire, that is a great skirt..." I remember Caius is here.
He does me a favor and goes outside, I look back at Cora, "Can I touch you?" I reach out, she puts her hand to mine all dramatic and then high fives me. I hug her. She hugs me back.
Cora smiled sadly. "You big old softy. You have to stop beating yourself up, Lochlan. Those kids will be okay. Because of you." She tapped him in the chest. "Because of Davina, too."
When surprise registered on his face, she laughed. "What, you think I don't want you to move on? Granted, if I could be alive right now, I'd jump your bones and mark my territory in an instant. But you're not mine anymore. You deserve love. You deserve to be taken care of. And that woman? She loves you and those kids."
She smirked. "Quit being stupid and let her in. You made a virgin cry. Virgins have suffered enough."
I look at her but I don't laugh, I am too depressed to laugh. She reaches out and strokes my face," I think she's too nice. I am going to screw it up with her and this is weird, that I am discussing a new relationship with my dead wife."
I break off, I want to pace.
"Cora, I am not as tough as I pretend to be. I can't do this, I can't be here without you." I look at her, it's the truth. I can't lie, I can't have this moment and not share my true feelings and fears.
Cora sighed. Her own eyes shimmered with emotion, but for some reason, the dead couldn't quite cry. They reached the halfway point, and then, no dice. She smiled instead and let her hands slide down his face and come to rest on his shoulders. "You can, baby. You've been a warrior all your life. You can raise three kids."
He didn't look convinced. She sighed. "Do you know why I'm at peace?"
Lochlan shook his head.
"Because I trust that you'll keep them safe, Lochlan. I chose what happened to me. None of this was your fault. You're a natural father, and you've got a hell of a lot of love to give."
She wished that for once, the tears would fall, because all they were doing now was blur her vision. Eventually, they would dry up, but this was too sad a moment. "I wish I could be there with you guys. You know I'd give anything for that. But you, babe? You're going to come out the other side. Hopefully with Davina. Provided you don't fuck up too badly, anyway."
"So, do I go back? Do I go back to the dimension, be a General and let them have what they want? Tell me what to do? I'll go make up with Davina, because yes I want her seeing I can't have you."
"She deserves to not be second best, I am trying. Just tell me what to do,and I will do it." I look at her.
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